From A Driven Purpose To A Purpose Driven

"I came here alone; many years down the road, I'll leave with a good friend - myself."

This statement didn't come forth overnight. This simple statement took me my whole life to understand.

My understanding of the reasons of my existence here with her and to understand my journey with her had been peppered with notions being told to one of self discovery.

Whether it was an obstacle and an adversity or a blessing and a miracle, I've learnt to know the entity living within a little more. I've chosen not to ignore her little decisions or the bold actions that she chose and to observe the various consequences in the surroundings thus resulted. I realised that there were never wrong actions or decisions but they were meaningful causes that lead to results that I had to learn from.

She has had her moments of egoism and was driven by various life purposes; however, her heart remained empty. She couldn't fathom the meaning of love and joy as she wanted to experience it - permanently.

I watched her experiment, I watched her ask around, I watched her read, I watched her meditate, I watched her cry, I watched her contemplate, I watched her frown when she was floundering around in search of answers, I watched her marvel at the small incremental steps made with positive results, I watched her wonder if she could find her answers within her short noisy life... Then, I watched her worry if she is ever good enough to return to God.

I watched her being surrounded by friends. They come and they go. Some inspired and stayed; some taught and expired - when both know within their higher selves that both have done their dues. That was still not enough.

She found that that she is so limited, trapped within this body.

We are like twins, me being the limited half and she had to learn to know me and live with me. We have to evolve together nonetheless.

We finally made a pact. Since both of us are so limited, we decided to merge and allow this cohesive entity to be a conduit of God to channel blessings to others and to make ourselves useful. No matter what happens - good or bad, blessings or curses - we decided to allow all will to be done by God. He will use us as tools for the higher purposes of His will. That will remove our limitations, for God will be in control and no longer our limited selves.

This is our constant prayer to Him, "Dear God, please use me as Your tool for Your higher purpose. Whatever that comes my way, it is Your will that is to be done - not mine. Let my purpose here solely be Your conduit for all things in Your will to be done and said. Let this be my purpose driven."

My heart and my brain. My intellectual reasoning self and my spiritual self to return to the Source.

"I came here alone; many years down the road, I'll leave with a good friend - myself."